Getting Ready for Motherhood

So, are you all ready for your baby? The nine months before your little one arrives are a busy time. Perhaps you’ve been painting a nursery, buying tiny sleepsuits and reading about babycare. But how much time have you spent preparing for how it will actually feel to be a mum?

Having a baby is a massive transition. Suddenly this new little person is thrust into your world, demanding your attention and time, casually throwing out your routine, and possibly making you question everything you’ve ever known. Many new mothers end up feeling bewildered and overwhelmed, but with a bit of thought and preparation, it needn’t be a shock to the system.

You’ll be given endless advice about raising your child, but remember it’s your life and your baby. Think about what sort of mum you want to be. What are your values? What will you bring to your parenting from your own upbringing? What sort of personality do you have? These are all-important factors in working out how you care for your baby.

Perfectionism is the enemy of contentment, especially when it comes to babies. Remember that looking after a baby is about much more than how well they sleep and feed. It’s a relationship, with all the complications and emotions that this brings, so there’s rarely room for perfection. Before your baby arrives, think about what is most important to you; this will help you to get your priorities straight and deal better with the uncertainties of life with a baby.

Many mums waste time and energy criticising themselves over the slightest failing. Don’t let guilt take over your life. In the weeks and months before the birth, get into the habit of dealing with guilty feelings straight away. If you’ve done something wrong, deal with it as best you can and apologise where possible. If you haven’t, let it go. If you can make this process a habit, it will help you to be a more confident and positive parent.

The first few weeks with a baby can be exhausting and scary, and you’ll need all the help you can get. While you’re still pregnant, make a list of people who can provide you with both emotional and practical support, and ensure that you have their contact details handy. Be clear about what they can do to help, and don’t be afraid to set boundaries so that you have time for yourself, too.

This is an important time to work on your relationship, to ensure that it’s as solid as it can be. Talk to each other about your hopes, expectations and fears. What do you think about your roles and responsibilities as parents? What sort of family life do you want to have? What traditions would you like to establish? The more you communicate, the easier the transition will be for you both.

Patricia Carswell provides expert advice to magazines and newspapers, including Practical Parenting, Junior, the Guardian and the Sunday Telegraph, and is one of the principal experts in the best-selling parenting book, Toddling to Ten, published by Headline. For more information, go to www.coachingformothers.com/.