Jane Wenham – Jones Author of the brilliant and funny book - Wannabe a Writer

So how do you do it – how do you write a successful book that gets on the best seller list.

Well says Jane “Frederick Forsyth spends a year researching his books and then writes them in 45 days, Freya North doesn't plan a thing but just gets started. Carole Matthews used to tie her leg to the desk to stop her wandering off to do the ironing, Mil Millington drinks gallons of tea. Erica James insists on a fresh china teacup for each new book she writes and Jill Mansell has to have the TV on”.
 
These are just some of the fascinating snippets that appear in her book which is a hilarious and informative guide to the whole business of being a writer and a must-have for anyone wanting to see themselves in print.

Jane goes on to say "I've tried to cover all bases. There are sections on everything from the best way to plan a novel to how to avoid getting writers' bottom but if there's one central theme to the book, and one thing I've learned through writing it, it's that every writer does it differently and it doesn't really matter HOW you get your book/story/article written, as long as you do.
 
Over a hundred authors, journalists, agents and publishers have contributed words of wisdom and they were all exceptionally generous with their time. Frederick Forsyth rang me up and then sent pages of answers to my questions, Jilly Cooper wrote me lovely letters, six major publishers have offered advice and some really top agents have given their hot tips.” 
 
“I had two main aims when I sat down to write Wannabe a Writer?” Says Jane “One was to tell it as it really is - many authors struggle for years to get published before they hit the big time - and the other was to be entertaining. There are lots of excellent how-to books out there but they can be quite serious and heavy-going to read straight through. I wanted to make my readers smile as well as think and give them real practical advice and encouragement too. But in a realistic way. There are chapters on feeling jealousy and stress as well as on writing dialogue and character." 
 

It wasn't an easy ride for Jane as she tallks about her journey "Nobody fought over my manuscript. Rather, they unplugged their phones, switched email addresses, took long sabbaticals on the other side of the world and instructed their assistants to tell me they’d died of a rare and sudden tropical disease.

I had a file marked “AGENTS – those who’ve said sod off” bulged and broke its seams. Publishers cowered from my offers of sexual favours, and remained unmoved when I chained myself to their railings.

I wept, wailed, got horribly drunk and spent £156.98 on postage. I did strange spells, took up chanting, consulted psychics, threatened to hang myself from the shower-rail if I didn’t get a book-deal, and took to stalking.

What I didn’t do was give up. I was determined to get that novel published, even if it meant rolling up to my launch party with no teeth and a colostomy bag. I think we can safely say I was obsessed.

And published it was. I did sell my book in the end, but it was by a long, circuitous and torturous route. But I kept going because after all the joy, elation, tears and liver damage I’d suffered writing an entire manuscript – don’t believe anyone who says it’s easy – I didn’t want it wasted. Many have seen this attitude as a strength but it is also one of my failings. Sometimes you do have to waste things. As a writer you need a built-in crap-o-meter and an iron nerve to discard all the stuff that doesn’t work.

Jane tells me "But first and foremost you need determination"

Here are just some of the rave reviews her books have received:

"Thoroughly enjoyable and full of deft, sparky humour" - Jill Mansell, 

"Funny, realistic and full of insight. I couldn't put it down." -  Katie Fforde

“A brilliant read.” Freya North,

"The story you've always wanted to read about infidelity" - Cosmopolitan,

"A perfect read" – OK 

"Convincingly drawn" - Daily Mail, "Great Fun" - Heat,

"The ultimate how-to book" - Writing Magazine

Available from Amazon